Draco's Sorrow or 17 May
by lovebird17
Summary: After Harry dies, Draco needs to move on for the sake of his children. So he will only allow himself to break down the day of Harry's death; 17 May. Sequel to Hermione's Insight and Harry's Decision. DMHP, mentionings of mPreg.


**Draco's Sorrow or 17 May**

XXX

_17 May 2006_

He's such an arse.

_Such_ an arse.

How could he?

So selfish.

Leaving me alone.

Leaving _us_ alone.

How could he?

Was I not enough?

Wasn't our _love_ enough?

XXX

_17 May 2007_

I can't breathe.

I have to.

I don't want to.

Does he feel good now, knowing that we cry at night?

Does he feel right now, knowing that they miss their Dad?

I miss him.

They miss him, too.

XXX

_17 May 2008_

Three years gone now.

I hate him.

Hatehimhatehimhatehimhatehim.

XXX

_17 May 2009_

They asked about him.

They always do.

It was my fault.

It was his fault.

He's not here.

He's never here.

Why isn't he here?

XXX

_17 May 2010_

I drank the scotch.

The one to drink on our 25th wedding day.

I'm 18 years too early.

It seems fitting.

Five years now.

I don't care.

I won't care again.

XXX

_17 May 2011_

She thinks it's her fault.

How could he do that?

Let his child think it's her fault.

I can't hate him.

Never hate him.

She looks so much like him.

XXX

_17 May 2012_

An apocalypse will come.

Or so the muggles say.

They're right.

I was unfaithful tonight.

It wasn't worth it.

I want his hands.

I want his tongue.

I want... I want...

I want too much.

I want what will never be.

Never again.

XXX

_17 May 2013_

This is my date.

My day.

I give them everything.

Except this date.

XXX

_17 May 2014_

Hermione came by.

Today.

'Don't wallow in your sorrows.'

'Stop your misery.'

I get the message.

'Get over him.'

Don't shoot the messenger.

I never liked those muggles.

XXX

_17 May 2015_

Our boy is going to Hogwarts.

Amandine wants to go, too.

Folant teases how she's too young.

He should be here.

Teaching them about everything.

He won't come.

He won't comfort Amandine.

He won't admonish Folant.

I can imagine though.

'You get to go next year, Amandine.'

'Don't tease your sister, Folant.'

He'll shorten their names.

I don't want to think about that.

XXX

_17 May 2016_

Almost alone.

No reminder of him.

Other than the pictures.

They're almost grown up now.

Aren't they?

The stuffed dragon.

Forgotten by his owner.

Will they forget their Dad?

Like he's just another stuffed animal?

Will they forget me, their Papa?

XXX

_17 May 2017_

19 years ago.

Still in Hogwarts.

We thought we knew everything.

He thought he wouldn't live to see 20.

I hoped he would live to see 20.

Be careful what you wish for.

How stupid we were.

XXX

_17 May 2019_

I am s-

I apol-

I fuc-

It only opens on 17 May.

I wasn't there.

I. Wasn't. There.

I love him.

.

Believe me.

Please.

XXX

_17 May 2020_

15. 16.

I'm losing myself.

I'm losing my children.

I've lost him.

Mother died, too.

Are they all going to do that?

XXX

_17 May 2021_

I dreamed.

He and I.

We were floating.

I watched him.

And he talked.

He kissed me, as well.

Touched me.

He still loves me.

I love him still, too.

XXX

_17 May 2022_

I dreamed. Again.

The same one.

He'll come for me.

But it's not my time yet.

I wonder why not.

They're both grown up now.

They don't need me anymore.

XXX

_17 May 2023_

We went through the attic.

Yesterday.

As a gift to Amandine for her 18th.

I found another bottle of the scotch.

This time I'll wait.

We also found his old trunk.

It still hurts.

XXX

_17 May 2024_

Our baby got married.

Today.

On our wedding day.

As a salute to us.

I wonder if he'll laugh or cry.

Probably both.

I just held her.

She knows that I appreciate it.

XXX

_17 May 2025_

He'd be very proud.

I'm not drunk right now.

It's the first time in 20 years I'm not drunk this day.

It's also been 13 years since I last kissed a man.

Longer since I kissed a woman.

It's been 22 years since we got married.

A year since Amandine got married.

She's expecting now.

It's been 20 years and a day since he named our baby girl.

Amandine Lily Potter Malfoy.

It's been 21 years, 2 months and a week since he gave me an heir.

Folant Sirius Potter Malfoy.

It's been 27 years since we declared we loved each other.

For 27 years and then some, I've loved him.

I shouldn't be so pathetic.

XXX

_17 May 2026_

I bought a muggle painting.

It suits me.

Scream.

XXX

_17 May 2027_

I'm old.

I feel it.

Only Amandine, Folant and their kids make me young.

I dreamed again.

The same dream.

'It won't be much longer, love.'

It's been so long since anyone called me that.

Since he called me that.

XXX

_17 May 2028_

Our 25th anniversary.

His 23rd anniversary.

I almost drank the bottle.

It's a good scotch.

He'd appreciate it.

The last glass.

My last glass.

I love you, Harry.

XXX

_Folant = healthy/strong_  
_Amandine = she who must be loved_

A/N: I thought the names fit, so I chose them that way. Another form of Amandine is the more common Amanda, but I doubt Draco would ever call his children anything as common as that. That's also the reason Folant wasn't called James. He was their heir after all, and perhaps a second son would've carried that name. Amandine could have Lily as her middle name, because of Narcissa. Flowers are apparently an okay deal in pureblood business. And I have no doubt that Harry would've wanted his mother to be respected one way or another. This is possibly the last in my still-nameless trilogy. But perhaps Amandine or Folant want to have a say, too. Anyway, **REVIEW**.

Purry love,  
lovebird17


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